#Today kind of sucks
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Hey <3 really sorry to bother you, I read Who Holds the Devil since day 1, I absolutely love it. Do you know when a new chapter will be posted ? Take care
Hi there! I'm glad that you like it! And thank you so much for staying faithful to the fic for so long 💜
Unfortunately, this is what we call "catching me at a bad time" since today I've received unsolicited criticism, opinions, and/or complaints (some of them valid) on three separate fics, from three different people. So I'm kind of having my doubts about the whole "writing fanfics" thing right now. Or at least the "posting fanfics" thing.
(That'll pass, don't worry. I'm just being dramatic because I'm still trying to process and overcome all these new doubts and anxieties I didn't ask for but suddenly have to deal with)
On top of that, you happen to be the second person to ask me this question today, which is in no way helping my current situation. I'm pretty sure that wasn't your intention, but yeah.
Also, I'm afraid I might be getting sick again so, uh, there's that, too.
So, to be entirely honest with you, I don't know. I had hoped to get back to it sooner than this, but things are kind of difficult right now even if we ignore the shitshow today has been for me, my confidence, and my writing.
As always, I promise I'll post as soon as I'm able but, right now, I can't say when that'll be. So please be patient for a little while longer :)
You take care too 💜
#Amethystina Replies#Anonymous#I promise it'll pass#And I will get back to writing it#Hopefully soon#Today is just a VERY bad day for this question#Because one of the fics in question was Who Holds the Devil#And... uh...#The comment hit me where it hurts#In that sort of way where even if it's just a single person saying their personal opinion#Which they're entitled to#And they claim it wasn't meant to be negative#I'm still second-guessing EVERYTHING now#Since it's such an important part of the fic#And something I take so much pride in#And it doesn't matter that it's one of the things other people have praised me for since the very beginning#Because anxiety doesn't care about logic#And all I can see is that I apparently failed at something I thought I was doing well on#So yeah#Today kind of sucks
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If I could spend all the energy my mind burns going between “I’m a capable professional and I should be proud of myself” and “I’m garbage why do I even try” in anything else I would get so much done
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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yay
#my art#smallishbeans fanart#ethoslab fanart#trafficshipping#or whatever.#could be read as romantic or platonic. whatever you want. I dont care#have i mentioned that i HATE COLORIng. because that is why this is grayscale.#i love colors. i suck at using them. they are my mortal enemy#anyway i kind of did this on a whim lol. i hadn’t planned to finish the sketch but i picked it back up today and just.#got in the groove of things. ya know.#so like. don’t look too hard. because i KNOW there are fifty bajillion mistakes in this lmao#if you COULDN’T tell boat boys has been my obsession for the past month#or so#rhis drawing is the 10th page on a canvas named more smalletho#and i HAVE drawn ghem kissing. once.#which is not exactly crucial information but i did feel like it deserved to be known
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redhead :-)
#hiiiiii. time for my weekly check-in lol#slowly but surely figuring out this procreate thing. maybe.#school is still going fine.#school & drawing is p much all i do these days#while i was leaving campus today someone drove by blasting the song from dinner in america#& it is now stuck in my head#i was kind of surprised to hear it in the wild. in my mind that is a very obscure movie. idk#i might have to rewatch it. again.#anyway. it occurred to me that i could totally start making comics now#(being able to draw without being tied to my desk is awesome btw)#so… i might do that#i genuinely miss my boys so bad. like i think about them nonstop all the time but it’s not enough#i haven’t worked on their story (like… canon story) in a while#got sucked into the AU rabbit hole a bit#but i was listening to dhes’ playlist the other day & it got me thinking about the canonverse again#dhes’ playlist btw… pure rage & insecurity lol#so idk. i might spend some time doing canon stuff.#i have not forgotten about the monster boyz lore edit. i just… have no time for it rn#still gonna get it done though !#ok i have to leave. things to do etc etc#rainyrambles#artwip
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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Culture - for the second day of @hetalia-rarepairweek ✨
I have recently been told about the British superstition of magpies and how of saluting magpies will ward off bad luck. The saluting is to show respect to the bird often connected with bad omens so that nothing bad will happen to you 🍂
#hetalia#rarepairweek2023#hetalia-rarepairweek#scotnor#aph norway#aph scotland#hws norway#hws scotland#this should perhaps have been under day 4 with folklore??? but it fit okay with today as well ig#felt like playing around with colours and the autumn vibes going on atm 🥰🥰#the magpies were surprisingly fun to draw - I usually suck at drawing animals but birds are okay#So fun how different countries will have these kind of superstitions that are so specific and other countries won't have heard about#I wonder what things we do in Norway that's Norway-specific 🤔��#I need to read up on all my books about superstitions and folklore 😅😅 this is def the season for it
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sonic save me . save me sonic
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feeling EMOTIONS!!
#i thunk im loneley i think i may be jealous#dont know why.#went to the ren fair earlier today it kind of sucked tbh..#i shouldve eaten the last meal i had was lunch yesterday#i cant talk for some reason
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wip wednesday
thanks @swordbisexual i’m going to inflict original work upon you… ok technically it is bible fanfic, some adam and eve type of short story with a horror twist, but it’s original too………… omg … sorry……….. @carnalapples @shadoedseptmbr @giliath @bharv let’s see what you’re working on no pressure….
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The request is to awaken. She hears it like a whisper in her ear. One moment, there is nothing, just an echoing blackness that is comforting. And then, she opens her eyes and looks down at her reflection in a pool of water.
These are the details: there is a pool of water. There is a reflection in it. Eyes and a nose and a mouth. Hair that falls around the shoulders, long and curly and brown with dimensions, many browns, many curls. Bare shoulders, a soft curve to them, a narrowness. She leans forward to see more. Hair falls down over the chest. Skin is like bronze. Hands are flat against the ground before the pool, fingers threaded through long blades of grass that shoot up and out of powdery soil. She lifts one hand and looks at the palm, then at the nails, curved and a little long, and very clean despite the darkness of the soil at her knees.
“Very pretty,” a voice says, different from the voice that woke her up. There’s a man behind her, watching her watch herself.
“Thank you,” she says. The words materialize in her mouth. She lets them out without hesitation. She has no reason to hesitate.
#this is the very beginning#im just writing now and sketching out the story so we’ll see#got more down today and its taking shape maybe#idk! whatever lol#this is so hard#and I can’t tell if it’s shit or no#this passage is fine maybe#ok anyway haha#wip wednesday#my writing#this is embarrassing asf..#i regularly write fictional characters fucking and sucking but sharing the most chaste and simple original thing is like#so weird….#anyway this is even embarrassing to say but i wanted this to be like sci-fi kind of also…. so like sci-fi horroresque… god i want to hide#lol!! haha!! lmao…
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~Cavorting~
Damien's a grouchy bastard but boy he likes the skimmers. The somewhat beefier weight of the Xurfboard was a delight worth celebrating with some play out on the iceflats on Europa
BONUS
RIP that Goblin. SOME Vex were harmed in the making of these images XD XD XD
#destiny 2#destiny#destiny the game#destiny warlock#destiny oc#destiny exo#my oc#Damien-14#destiny skimmer#xurfboard#destiny screenshots#destiny Europa#look at this fucking simp with his infinite chain link bond#did he suck clovis' dick? probably not#but he would have#*kissy noises*#stinky rotten man#but today I'm letting him have a nice time#because sometimes he's kind of OK
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Literally so embarrassing to feel embarrassed ever. Not very top energy of me
#got my first driving theory class today and felt painfully shy. painfully#tbh I think since that panic attack I had last week my anxiety's been worse#maybe it's the fear of having another panic attack? I've heard this kind of thing can happen#and I've had panic attacks before but like. it had been a looong long time since I had one#like. years maybe??#and then suddenly I'm scared of being scared again#and of my emotions getting out of control when I really need to stay calm#idk. it sucks#sleep.txt
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i realized recently ive been tagging things as softstar without mentioning what softstar even is. i think. maybe. so here i am burdening you all with another pokemon yume dump once more >:-)
shut-in wet cat anxiety-ridden alolan champion x emotionally stable but still a bit anxious moral support gamer scientist
#pokemon#yumeship#molayne pokemon#elite four molayne#selfship#softstar#softstarshipping#<- thats the ship name i went with it kind of sucks but idc#i also call them#charmol#sometimes#dogboydraws#trainersona#art ranges from like huhhhhh hm#august to today#♡✷ big mo#momo
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I hate feeling like a big pouty baby when I don’t get sex 🥺
#about me#rejection sensitivity#really sucks#I was really looking forward to it#kind of deserve it tho I was a brat today :(#not in a cute way#personal#cream writes
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Hi, I love your Wish rewrite so much that I want to do a fanart. Is there any design for them or references to inspire by them?
Asjsksjaks I wrote a whole-ass essay responding to this but it got deleted so here it is again
First of all— thank you so much! Please tag me when you finish it, you’ll be my favorite person ever
Now I assume you mean Asha and Star inspo. They’re under a cut because I really delved into this lmao
Asha
For our favorite princess, I see Asha basically the same, but with a lot fancier accessories and outfits. In her concept design, she had lots of jewelry and beads in her hair and on her dress inspired by Moroccan and Amazigh fashion:
And then a fancy dress worthy of a princess. She’s supposed to be commoner now, but her concept art had some pretty dresses
Ahaksjaksjs sorry for the shitty quality this was the only photo I could find
Some other dress designs I loved:
@puertoricanbelle
They made this as a final transformation outfit which, honestly, I love. It’s giving Ariel’s final dress, but mixed with Queen vibes and tbh in the movie I expected a transformation dress rather than just sparkles hajsksjs @ghostguts
Like??? She’s a princess so she has the royal colors??? Idk what it is I just love this
THIS DESIGN below I believe is made by @hoaxghost, but—
Lookit??? Not too formal not too common, gold accents and rings and the silhouette of the dress isn’t just like Rapunzel’s but has dimension and tassels and sleeves and nose is not a cute button which I think is reminiscent of Amaya and Magnifico, them being her parents in this rewrite. The concept art picture I showed also showed her with a bit of a longer nose which I like
(Also I feel like they lightened the royal couple’s skin in the movie? Or is it just me?)
Star
I also looked at the concept art for Starboy
^something like the one right above, I think But I also adored @kiiwiibun’s design of Star
I think in my rewrite I even added how Star has a dark teal half-cape thing like they drew!
I do imagine Star to have a constant glow, since he’s, you know, a star. But whether it’s from his skin, his hair, etc, you can decide! You basically have lots of wiggle room for this since I don’t have a design fully locked down yet. And hey, maybe you’ll create the “canon” looks for this Wish rewrite!
(Ps if any of the people I tagged want me to remove their art please let me know and I’ll do it right away— also is anyone knows who made that last Asha dress redesign please tell me too so I can tell them I love them)
💜💛
#ahsksjajs sorry this took so long#I had finals today#Geometry I aced but Honors Chem frikin sucks man#Anyways yeah#please tag me when it’s finished!#I love and welcome fanart of any kind#Also like you’ll be my favorite forever so#sapphire answers#wish 2023#disney wish#wish disney#wish movie#wish#princess asha#disney 100#star wish#wish concept art#wish asha#asha wish#star x asha#fan art
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Have you read The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez??
absolutely insane of the author to write an entire book about familial love and the importance of lineage and culture then have a main character not know about his own and lie about it the entire time. absolutely bonkers how that character is known and even sometimes defined by that false culture and its epithets. absolutely heart rending that when he comes clean to the other main character, he says that his culture is the least interesting (important) thing about him.
absolutely insane also for the only sex scene to be the last scene of the entire book.
#the spear cuts through water#just finished#book thoughts#simon jimenez#screaming crying throwing up in this Target today#i really really loved this book for so many reasons#five out of five stars fr#kind of sucks that i have to read Something Else now lol
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